Why the drama?

For most of my life I have always found it easier to get along with guys as opposed to girls. Maybe it was because I grew up with boys or even because girls tend to have seemingly petty disputes (I mean it's kinda true), and I'm just the kind of person that  didn't want to be bothered. Whatever the reasons though, the fact is that even up to today, most of my friends are male and it seemed to be working out just fine for me. Until recently God started speaking to me on the amount of hate and drama that surround us, His daughters. I mean the reason why I wasn't a fan of many female friendships in the first place was because "girls are petty, dramatic, bitter, hateful" etc. So I decided I couldn't be bothered. 

However God has been gracious enough to show me the error of this kind of thinking lately. I found myself wondering why I was a lot more comfortable with guys than girls, I mean it's pretty clear that they are male and I am FEMALE! There are some struggles that are unique to women, and some roads only women can travel on. As I have continued to grow in Christ, doing my best to allow Him to mould me into the daughter He has always wanted me to be, I began to realise that I didn't really know a lot of people that were on the same road as me. It is at this point that God showed me that I needed to align myself with other daughters of God that could help me along the way and through God's grace, that I could be useful to as well. Yet as much as us girls may be "daughters of God" , those characteristics that have long since given me an aversion to female friendships still exist within us. I have even noticed it in myself. I too have been petty in some issues; I too have allowed bitterness and unforgiveness to rule my heart even losing some friendships along the way; I too have disliked other girls for no real reason and I too have played a part in tearing my sisters down just to make myself feel better. The reality is that ALL of us women have done this if we are to be truly honest with ourselves. Our own brokeness often leads us to seek to affirm our worth by being "better than her." And it is because of this that many women are so broken. We have unknowingly created a cycle where the damage in us causes us to damage others, and this is the scenario that keeps playing out. Of course life also deals us blows from other places, men, relationships, families, school and work also bring their share of hurt. Yet instead of us women helping each other shoulder these burdens we have made them heavier. "Why should someone else's problems become mine?", a question many, including myself have asked at some point. I mean we all have our issues right! Indeed, but the answer to this question, I personally found in the Bible.

"Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbour" - 1 Corinthians 10:24

There is a phrase that goes "Hurting people hurt people." It is the damage that exists in us that finds joy in bringing others down, and even more so that takes us to a place where we don't care how we treat others. As women it is important that we stop the drama and focus on building each other up. Though the world tries to teach us otherwise, we are all responsible for each other because that's what God has called us to do. As always God doesn't always tell us to do the easiest of things, yet as He is the All-Knowing God, it would be in our best interests to do as He says!

My encouragement to all women is to change our way of thinking. To grow from immaturity to maturity, from selfishness to selflessness. And to know that helping another woman realise and embrace the good in them does not take anything from us. Our worth and value are in CHRIST, and Him alone, not in whom we outdress, outsmart, how pretty we are or the bodies we have. God took His time to craft us all individually and uniquely for a reason. Coke and Fanta cannot compete to taste and look the same because they are DIFFERENT! It's the same with us. I'm also learning to embrace this lesson and make changes in my life, and so far being obedient to God has paid off! I have met some amazing women lately who are constantly pouring into my life. If we reversed the cycle of women from that of destroying each other to that of building each other up, I truly believe we will make a huge difference, in others and in ourselves.